Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is my gift to your gina
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
