so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
