Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
