I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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