Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
