just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Randomize
