I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
