its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
PANTIES FOUND
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