So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
