I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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