i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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