3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
