I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
