I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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