Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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