no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
