please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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