Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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