yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
