why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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