We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
