why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
