Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
