Just fell off a train. Bad.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize