Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
