Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
