You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
