Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
