I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my liver is dry heaving
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
