That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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