So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
