sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
