So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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