im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
