i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize