Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
