i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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