I just cut my nipple shaving
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
