omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
