..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I want a musical about memes.
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