FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
