Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
