I got chris browned last night
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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