Jerry, you need to find god
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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