you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
