Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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