**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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