Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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