Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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