I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
