I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
