You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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