just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
