Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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