She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
