It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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