I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My pussy is not your playground.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
