How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she pinky promised me she was 18
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
