sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
