i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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