I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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